Interpersonal conflict between people is a norm of life, and perhaps it is not always a bad thing. A conflict may strengthen or weaken a relationship, and it all depends on how the conflict is handled and resolved.
Consider the following situation:
Jake is Leonard Tan's only son and they have always had a good relationship. Leonard has a small construction firm and hope that someday Jake would help him with the business. Jake was previously enrolled in a local university and pursued a degree in civil engineering. After he graduated, Jake decided to work for a large construction firm instead of his father’s company. He felt this would broaden his perspective of how a business is being run and also enhance his working experience. In just a few short years, he became quite successful in the large construction company. At the age of 34, he was then persuaded by his father to join him, since his father would retire in 5 years. Jake felt that he has the confidence and experience to take over and grow the family business. Few months after joining his father’s company with a strong grasp of the modus operandi in the business, he suggested various operational changes and new projects to his father which he felt would help the growth of the firm. Besides, Jake has plans to expand the company's local operation to overseas, with the close overseas contacts that he has made from the previous company.
However, his dad’s response was: "Son, I know you have learned A LOT while working in the BIG construction firm, but this is a small company and we do things different here. Besides, why bother to make changes to the operation style when the company is doing fine and we have always done things this way." (His dad's response to the capitalized words were louder and sounded sarcastic). Jake was a little disappointed by his father's reply and his tone with regard to the suggestions that he has made. He responded that he hopes to grow the company, with plans to enhance and expand the company’s operations in order to generate more revenue. However, he invariably received the same response from his dad and he began to feel annoyed. The discussion gradually became louder and Jake responded, "FINE! So be it!" and stomped out of sight.
Conflict is inevitable in this situation as both Jake and Leonard failed to accept each other’s viewpoint with regard to company growth. It could be due to the different experience that both father and son have acquired in the industry and engineering field. Jake is better educated and full of aspiration, thus willing to take more risk in order to grow the family business by employing new and creative strategies. In contrast, Leonard has accumulated ample working experience and knowledge over the years with the establishment of his small construction firm. The firm has been doing well and steady revenues are made with his way of maintaining the company. Thus, he sees no need to take such an unnecessary risk.
Few questions to ponder:
1) Does Jake and Leonard display Emotional Intelligence (EI)? If yes, explain the elements of EI. If no, what elements of EI should they practise?
2) What are some healthy approaches that could be taken by both father and son to resolve the conflict?
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Hi Diana,
ReplyDeleteInteresting post about interpersonal conflict! I have no doubt most of us would have experienced this with our parents as well at some point, although perhaps over more minor issues.
The majority of your post is rather fluent, but I would just to point out that some parts sounds a little weird, grammatically, to me. For example, it might have been better to phrase "Jake is the only child of Leonard Tan. Jake and his father always have a good relationship." as "Jake is Leonard Tan's only child and they have always had a good relationship." Also, the "of" is redundant in "Leonard has accumulated ample of working experience and knowledge (...)". To this end, if you would like some help with smoothing out your posts, I would only be glad to do so.
Secondly, I understand the need to be concise, given Brad's "generous" suggested limit of 250 words, but I feel that details of the conflict are lacking. For example, did son and father refuse to look at each other in the eye at the dinner table following the refusal of Jake's proposal?
To answer your first question, I feel that perhaps Leonard is lacking in empathy towards his son. He might have more experience in running the company, but perhaps he should let his son explain his plans clearly, before rejecting his proposal.
On the other hand, Jake should perhaps try to understand that no matter how much experience he has had in other companies, his father still has had more years invested in the family business. Hence, Jake should try to bring in changes gradually, and explain clearly to his father the rationale for change.
In resolution of the conflict, Jake and Leonard would first need to understand each other on the rationale for proposing and refusing changes respectively and to respect each other's experience.
Dear Diana,
ReplyDeleteYou mentioned in your post that Jake suggested some changes to be done to the company for greater growth. I was wondering specifically what were these changes? I thought he could come to a compromise with his father Leonard by agreeing on just one change to be made first - a small one. If the company really experiences growth in revenue, it convinces his father that he knows exactly what he is doing and will do the company good with well managed risks. Slowly, step by step with small changes, Jake can then earn the trust of his father and convince his father that his method would work just as well.
I don't know the nature of the 'change' so to say, but I think instead of suggesting a big change to the company, maybe Jake could break it up to small steps that will eventually attain the same effect as taking one great leap.
For instance, if Jake were to suggest that the operations of the company be expanded overseas to bring in more revenue but Leonard refuses because it is risky to invest in an unfamiliar economy, then Jake could find a way to establish a deal with a overseas client. If the deal were successful, and more successful deals soon establish, it might bring in as much revenue as bringing operations abroad.
Hi Diana,
ReplyDeleteTo answer your questions -
1) I find it difficult to judge Jake's exhibition of EI as I am not sure what his reaction was(according to the story, that is). It is fairly easy to say Leonard did not exhibit emotional intelligence as he didn't care to understand where his son was coming from.
As far as Jake is concerned, it can be said that he could have approached the delicate subject of 'change' more carefully, especially given his father's age and his natural reluctance to change. It would be easier to comment on if we could understand what Jake did as a result of this.
2) The most obvious step would be to sit down and have a frank discussion on their feelings in this situation. One option could be Leonard giving Jake a section of the operations and letting Jake run it his way. This way, he would be able to see for himself if Jake's methods work well without interfering too much.
I agree with Clement's 'English language' suggestions. And I will leave the rest to Brad (Haha).
Hi Diana,
ReplyDeleteI do agree with you in your opening that a conflict can strengthen or weaken a relationship, depending on how it is resolved.
Before I provide my insights to your questions, I find some errors in certain sentences of your post. Although I do not have a strong command of English, there are certain things that I usually take note of, during my writing. So this is just to share some pointers with you. Please correct me if I am wrong.
1) Instead of “Few months after joining … to his father which he felt would…”, I would phrase it as “After having a strong grasp of the modus operandi, he suggested some changes to the company’s operation, which he felt would benefit the growth of the firm.” From what I know, you can either use “which” with a comma in front, or “that” without the comma.
2) I am not sure if you are trying to display the tone in the father’s response, but I feel that “we do things different here”, could be written as “we do things differently here”.
I believe Brad will be able to provide better suggestions than what I have given.
In addition, I feel that more details could be added in your description of the conflict; especially the tone that Jake used to talk to his father regarding the changes and after his father had rejected his suggestions, as well as the type of changes that he suggested, whether it would be reasonable or not. Moreover, there is room for improvement in the development of the story after Jake has received yet another rejection from his father.
ReplyDeleteAs for emotional intelligence, I may not be able to provide an appropriate reply to your questions, given that I have not managed to understand the respective feelings of each party and how they have specifically reacted. Hence, I have hypothetically made some assumptions about the attitudes and feelings both parties may have had.
In Jake’s case, I believe that by consulting his father before he actually made changes in the company’s operation, Jake has shown respect to his father by consulting him. After all, his father indeed had more experience than him. I feel that when Jake is voicing his opinions, he should be self-aware and adopt a polite tone, rather than enforcing his views on his father and demand that his father accept his suggestions.
Moreover, Jade should spend more time in explaining thoroughly to his father to allow him to better understand his rationale behind the suggested changes. Instead of demanding an immediate response from his father (if he did), Jake should give his father some time to consider about his suggestions. However, if his father does reject him in the end, instead of blaming his father entirely for being inflexible and showing any unpleasant behaviour towards him, he should also display some self-regulation and not act on impulse or blatantly insist on making the changes.
Furthermore, he should empathize with his father, who may be less open-minded towards the changes, instead of possibly perceiving him as stubborn and inflexible. He can also reflect upon the changes that he had suggested and try to understand why his father rejected them.
As for Jake’s father, he could try to empathize with Jake and discuss with him the suggestions raised, instead of rejecting them straight away. I believe that there will always be room for negotiation. Although I am not certain of what was the exact tone of Jake’s father, I feel that he should talk it out nicely with his son and not adopt a harsh tone even if Jake insists on the changes.
Moreover, since both of them have the same goal, which is for the betterment of the company, understanding and compromise would help to solve this problem. This can be done when both the father and son take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Jake’s suggestions might have been too big a change for a small company and perhaps he could make some changes to his suggestions. On the other hand, Jake’s father could also try to be more open-minded in being flexible to changes and allow Jake to make some relevant changes that would benefit the company. He can also try to understand that risk-taking is a may not necessarily be a negative form of entrepreneurship.
Thus, with compromise and consultation from his father’s experience, both father and son would be able to resolve this conflict and bring the company to greater success.
My apologies for the extremely long comment. I would work on my conciseness.
ReplyDeleteHello Rohan, Peirong, Diana2 and clement,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for reading my post and giving me invaluable comments and responses. I have made the necessary changes and included a little more information to elaborate on the conflict. I have wanted my interpersonal conlict to be clear and concise, hence forgetting to be complete! (Opps!) Now I see how important just one of the 7'C's is.
Jake always knows what he wants to achieve from every steps he takes. As we can see, he plans to work in the bigger firm first before joining his dad's company. So that he could gain more work experience and skills by working for people. In fact, he became quite successful in the big firm, which reflects his capability. No matter what, he has the plan in mind to work hard and gain knowledge and experience which he could eventually apply to help grow his father's company when he joins in the future. As such, Leonard should acknowlegde his son's effort and concern for his company.
ReplyDeleteAfter Jake joined his father's firm, it would be normal he felt full of confidence and hope to grow the company with what he has learnt over the years working for others in bigger firms. From his perspective, there were many rooms for improvement in his father's smaller firm. Hence, feeling excited he suggested many changes at one go to his father which he thought would certainly benefit the company.
Regarding to this, I felt that Jake could have raised his suggestion one by one or a few at a time and not suggest them all togther. Consequently, Leonard may feel that his son was trying to outshine him by changing his way of doing things in the company. As a successful businessman with many years of experience, and being narrow-minded, it was predictable he would reply in a sarcastic and heavy tone. As such, Jake could have been more careful with the way he made his suggestions. For instance, Jake could have first made his father felt appreciated and good by saying positive things. By complimenting first on his dad's way of managing the company and humbly suggesting a few changes to it may help. Thus, I felt that the 'approach method' in such an interpersonal scenerio is very important, and it is part of having good EI.
On the other hand, Leonard could have felt lack of trust and confident towards Jake, or he may not want to put his own company at risk. Therefore, I agree with Diana2 that Jake could have slowly implement the changes, and gradually earns his father's trust and acceptance to changes.
Also, since Leonard has already decided to hand over the firm to his son, he should have grant him some power to make changes which seemed feasible. Then, use that as an opportunity to judge his son's capability so that he could entrust him with increasingly more responsibilty. I believe that everybody has to first make mistakes and experience failure to learn and grow into a better person. Moreover, Jake has already worked for many years, not as if he has no work experience in that field at all.
Thank you, Diana, for describing this father-son problem scenario in quite good detail. I also get a good sense of why each character acts as he does.
ReplyDeleteFinally, you pose very relevant questions.
By now you have edited the story so there is no problem. I do, however, see your verb tense use as problematic. You mix past and present quite often. Which should be used? Actually, you can use either, past or "historical present." But you must be consistent. (Please ask me about this in class.)
Thank you for sharing.